They're for the Living

Yesterday, we buried Blondie. It was a much better experience than I feared. I felt at peace, which I didn't expect. Ricky (a good friend) came over to help me. He dug a hole deep enough and then we placed Blondie's urn in it. He carefully added her last (nearly new) rawhide, her favourite toy (a rubber wheel; she toted it around but didn't chew on it) and lastly placed her collar around the urn. It was like putting it back on her. He said a few words. I said goodbye to my Blondie Girl. After I dropped a handful of dirt in, he filled the hole. There she was, resting in her favourite spot. For always.

I believe she is already in heaven. That what we did yesterday didn't add or subtract from that. It was, as I've read so many times, for me. I finished saying goodbye - though I can't imagine never thinking of her again. I suppose it's more accurate to say I said I'll see you again, in a while. I think not having that ceremony would have left a sore spot.

The funeral was for me and GOD blessed me in my friend Ricky. He knew what to say and how to help me through it. It wouldn't have been nearly as easy to deal with as it was. I can look back on it and feel comfort. No regrets, no additional pain. Just happiness that she'll always be a memory in my heart (and at my gate). You can find GOD everywhere - you just need to look.

Hi, I'm a minister!

Yes, I'm the Rev. Sharon L. Hollingsworth, ULCM, ULC, AACC, ABC. What the heck are all those letters?! ULCM is the Universal Life Church Monastery. ULC is the Universal Life Church. This was where I was ordained in 2009. AACC is the American Association of Christian Counselors. ABC is American Biblical Counselors. Obviously I'm working to get to a point I can officially counsel. I've been unofficially since I was in high school.

To get prepared, I'm of course studying. I like a full plate and since I only work 3 days a week (12-hr shifts) I have plenty of time to study. And all my classes are online so I can turn in assignments, listen to lectures, etc. when I want. Perfect for me.

I'm working on 2 accelerated degree programs and 2 diploma programs. Two have a very structured assignment time requirements while the other 2 are more relaxed. This way I can focus my time on 1 or 2 simultaneously and work the other 2 in.

When I'm done I'll have a BS in Christian Counseling from an online seminary (they offered up to a doctorate and that's my goal), a BA in Psychology, a diploma in Chaplaincy (5 months and gives me 4 credits towards a Masters in Chaplaincy) and a diploma of Divinity (not a degree) which takes 60 credit hours. I've lots of papers to write between the four. Fortunately I really like writing!

I'll keep ya'll (yes, I'm southern) posted on my progress.

Thank you, GOD

Thank you, GOD. I was in a place, a deep dark place, a place from which I wanted to run. I planned my escape but I listened. You reminded me you can't run from what's in your mind; it'll still be there wherever you are.

I thought next of just going into my mind, blocking out my body, living in the world that's in my head. You asked me could I do that to my family and friends. Could I really leave the ones I love. Their faces came to mind and I knew then I couldn't leave them.

That left me with just one choice: deal.

I knew I couldn't do it alone - I couldn't be alone. Not anymore.

I finally, in that deepest dark moment, with songs playing in my head (a warning before hallucinating) and visions of a knife and of blood, I finally truly completely gave myself to You. This was more than my mind, more than my heart - my soul cried out for You.

And You were there.

You'd always been there, waiting patiently, pleased that my mind and heart had turned to you long ago. But waiting, just the same. Just waiting for my soul's cry out to You.

I'm no longer alone. Ever.

You told me to reach out to my friends not reach in to myself. You sent Your Holy Spirit to me, to guide me out of the labyrinth of pain and sorrow.

Thank you, my GOD. Thank You, Jesus my Lord. Thank you, Holy Spirit. With Your help, my GOD, I will sing your praises until You call me home, where I can sing forever. Thank you.

Ummm I'm Loving Dirty...Rice!

Here's a recipe I put together combining a couple recipes from Pinterest:

Dirty Rice

3 slices bacon, chopped
1/2 sweet onion
2 jalapenos, deseeded and minced
3 garlic cloves, minced
1/4 c. green onion, chopped
1/2 lb. hamburger meat (I used sirloin, but any will do)
1/2 lb. sausage
1 lb. livers, cooked, mash or chop (save the stock)
1 1/2 tsp. cajun seasoning (the recipe recommends Slap Ya Mama, but I couldn't find it)
salt and pepper to taste
4 c. cooked rice

Cook rice; set aside.
Cook bacon until done but not crispy; remove to paper towel; do not drain grease.
Saute sweet onion and jalapenos in bacon grease about 5 min.
Add garlic and green onion; saute 3 min.
Add hamburger meat, sausage, and livers to mixture; cook until hamburger meat done (by then the sausage will also be done).
While cooking meats add the cajun seasoning and light amounts of salt and pepper (can add more salt and pepper to taste when meats are done),

Add mixture to rice; stir thoroughly; add liver stock if dry.

There you have it! Enjoy!